How could i help myself to get better?

I am going to my doctors on Tuesday for two reasons, One to have my pregnancy confirmed and Two to sort my life out, as I am an agoraphobic. I suffer severly with panic disorder and agoraphobia. I had a difficult childhood and always felt as if I did not belong. I feel safer at home alone in my flat. I am 21 years of age and six weeks pregnant. I am determined to sort my life out so that i can give my baby the best possible start in life, as any parent would. I am sick of feeling so down and depressed and relying on other people. I want to be normal and feel independant. I have been on antidepressents, had counselling etc for many years, as i have had this condition since i was 9 years old. I am wanting to get over it but I cannot help feeling terribly worried and nervous about my anxiety difficulties as it affects my walking and mobility but i am not using a wheelchair. I hate myself for being the way that I am. I dont know what to do anymore. i dont want to be put on antidepressents